Working remotely - Your thoughts please

I have tried to find an online mentor (for free of course, as I'm unemployed for more than a year now), that would be more than willing to have a long and exhausting discussion with me about various programming languages and concepts, all the "do"s and "don't"s about those specific concepts and guide me towards the right path for working eventually remotely, either from home or from anywhere the world as long as I have a wireless connection to use a laptop.

You will say "hey, nothing is free you know" and I agree with you; but look around you and see how many open source projects exist. If I get trained properly or validate my existing knowledge by an experienced, professional senior developer I'm pretty sure I will create a few useful projects, let alone services, plus I will be able to participate to existing projects that need an extra pair of eyes and hands.

So, without extra fuss, anyone can suggest anything?